Food

Women should NEVER be allowed to plan office parties.

DAIRY????

Who has a DAIRY office party?!?!?!?!

Snow

Driving on a main road Sunday night ( no comments on the advisability of driving, it was to cover a shift in the garage). As I approach a cross street, I see a snowbank in my driving lane. it looks like one of those concrete barriers, but it is made out of snow, and it is completely covering my lane.

Fortunately, there were so few cars on the road that i was able to go around it without stopping, swerving, or hitting anything else. However, a person who drops a plowful of snow into the middle of a main road should not be allowed to walk around in public, much less drive a truck with a plow attached.

Letter

This letter was received by me, and is being published since it expands upon a previous post, and continues my thoughts on the matter exactly.

Dear Doctor Dummkopf,

I feel I must bring up a topic that has been nagging me for quite some time. While I have the urge to post it where it really belongs, I do not want to sink to the level of those that I am railing against.

See, today we received the unfortunate news of a colleague in the medical profession who met his unfortunate demise in a plane crash this morning. He was long known as a flying enthusiast and often piloted his personal plane. I have seen reports of missions that he carried out to benefit charities and the like, which makes his passion all the more meaningful. While this writer and many others did not always see eye to eye with this fellow, he was regarded as a very intelligent and highly competent ER physician.

In articles on various websites today the commenters felt it necessary to point out the dangers in flying in bad weather. And then there were those that felt it necessary to point out the greater dangers in driving a car and how the statistics are in favor of flying.

I would like to point out to all these DUMMKOPFS that this man was NOT AN IDIOT! He was an ER physician likely, significantly more intelligent that most, if not all, the idiots that feel it necessary to share whatever garbage that fills their head with all the people in cyberspace. Did he know the inherent dangers in flying in bad weather? YES!

So now let the man rest in peace and remember him for all his good traits, for all the Jewish lives he saved in his years in the ER and just for being a father, husband, son etc.

And to all the real idiots – Please SHUT UP!

smell

Conversation in my office. someone comes in with some papers. second person asks if she is wearing perfume. First person responds in the affirmative. then asks me a question about the docs. Second person then asks

"what is it"

first one responds, on her way out the door,

"legal papers"

second one asks

"that's the name of the perfume?"

Who's on first?

Snooze

We had to leave for the weekend early to get to the Island. There were reports that the GW Bridge was closed, so I was getting antsy to get going. However, a relative of mine, (and of Sir Sleepsalot) was supposed to come with us. We called him. repeatedly, as it got closer and closer to the time we needed to leave.

No response. No response. No response.

I was about to just pull out when he finally called back. Seems he had just returned from the Coast, and apparently was sleeping. Didn't hear the phone, didn't set an alarm. What he was planning to do is beyond me.

Relatives make me nuts.

Radio

On the ambulance radio, two units were discussing one taking over for another. A third guy, unsolicited, and with a history of trying to coordinate every call without ANY ONE ASKING HIM TO, gets on and states that he thinks the call is covered, so why don't both units cancel? They respond that the unit at the call is only available for a short time until the others get there.

The lesson? If you are going to be a busybody, and interject your opinion where no one wants or needs it, make sure you are PAYING ATTENTION first.

Sleep

New character here in the blogworld. Sir Sleepsalot. Here is the story why he has earned a place of honor in the Domain of Dummkopf.

I got up at 4:45 to attend a circumcision this morning in Queens, with services starting at 6:30. As I was running early, I figured I would be nice and save the good Knight a ten minute walk and pick him up. However, the Knight was under the influence of the night, and did not respond to multiple texts and phone calls. At 6:25 I left, and proceeded to the circumcision. During the ceremony, after prayers, my phone finally rings. " What should I do?"

How the heck should I know? He had the shortest commute of everyone and just overslept. he figured out something, but this is not the first oversleeping incident, and from someone who NEVER slept as a little kid.

Buy a better alarm clock. Or get a rooster.

Stop

I was driving on Centre Street today about to make a left onto the ramp for the Brooklyn Bridge. This is a ramp exit, not a cross street, and there is a sidewalk on the other side, with no cross traffic. The light is green and there is a car in front of me. All of a sudden, he stops, and lets someone cross in front of him.

Why do people do this? It isn't a crosswalk, it is like crossing a highway. Whatever issues I have with the genius running across the road pale in comparison to the Einstein who stops and lets them go, with absolutely no regard for the cars behind him, who do not anticipate that a car will stop at a green for no reason when there is only one way to go.

I am not advocating that the driver hit them, that would not be good ( and would slow me down even more to wait for the emergency crews and the cops). However, courtesy extends to both in front and behind the driver, and as I tell my kids CONSTANTLY, drivers do not expect other drivers to just stop in the middle of the road.

However, if one plans to do this, they should have a bumper sticker on the back of their car that says.......

I am a Dummkopf

Party

This past weekend I was invited to partake in a festive catered meal to celebrate a marriage earlier in the week. However, the meal had to be delayed for about two hours because the hall had been booked for a different celebration that would not be done until then. The story we heard was that the hall had been booked for the first party a year in advance, however, our party was not informed of this until it was too late to look elsewhere.

How difficult is it for an organization to keep a chart where they write down who has booked a hall? Who is the genius that doesn't keep track that a room is booked so they rebook it? Its one room. The only room in the place.

Frightening.

Alarm

Apparently, it isn't only others who need this site. I am on an ambulance squad (So is Dr. G, what a coincidence!) Coming back from a call this morning, I see the clock says 6:16. I realize that my alarm is about to go off. This will disturb others, as (1) I am not home to shut it off and (2) I moved it away from my bed and near the door before I left (WHY is for another time). So now it will disturb everyone in the house.  But wait, it gets better.

I state to my fellow crewmate that I am about to be in big trouble because my alarm is going off in one minute, much to the displeasure of others. He responds " Oops, mine's going off at 6:20."

We debated just staying on the ambulance all day.

Who?

A young man is critically injured, so a request for prayers is put out. First on a news site. 2 comments. The first asking for the name of the person, clearly left off the initial report. Then a follow up asking the first commenter why he needs the information. ( THAT one isn't the Dummkopf).

Then I see the same request for prayer on a social network site, with a bit more information, but again not enough to invade the privacy of the family and what are one of the comments? You guessed it, " who is it?"

Who cares? Are you unable to empathize without specifics? or are you just a nosy yenta?

Phones

When will people learn how to use a cell phone in public meetings? The darn thing rings, so they open the phone, and then hit ignore. This just causes the person to either (a) call back, or (b) leave a message, both of which cause the phone to either (a) ring again, or (b) give the tones/notes/tunes for an incoming voice mail message.

The best thing I ever saw was during one of these meetings, after hitting ignore twice, and the phone ringing again, twice, the guy had the decency to get up.  So I am thinking he is going to go outside now and answer the phone.  No such luck, apparently he got up (so he could better answer the phone, I guess)  and said he is in a meeting and then  SAT BACK DOWN TO CONTINUE TO HAVE THE CONVERSATION! Obviously, he was not capable of talking and continuing to have his feet move towards the door.

The proper thing to do is to just shut the phone off.

Advice

Someone (single) in my office was preparing some paperwork for me. She asked me is she should date it Friday or Monday.

I told her she should date men, not paperwork.

The good Doctor, always dispensing relevant advice, worth the price paid for it.

Donuts

I need to give a name to the person who populates my office along with Queen Maleequa, so I shall dub him Sir Annoyus.

Someone brought in donuts. Sir Annoyus (SA for short) informed me that there were Jelly and caramel. I cut open one of them, and it was filled with yellow custard. I tasted it to be sure, and it was indeed the standard custard filling, not a lighter version of caramel, which is, well, usually caramel colored. While he was looking at it, I told him it was custard, and he informed me that it was caramel, because that is what he was told they were.

How does one argue with such logic?

Help

I told someone about the blog, person asked me how to comment, so I told her what to do. Claimed the comment got lost, so I opened up the commenting to a wider audience, again told me the comment got lost.
Told me I had to show her exactly how to comment.

This is blogging, not rocket science. If I have to write my own comments to my own blog, I don't need to post anything, I can just conduct symphonies of stuffed dolls in my own room in my underwear.

Now try to get THAT image out of your head.

Proof

Just by way of a quick example, one of the people in my office, who shall be called Queen Maleequa, asked me what a misnomer is. the other one, who  doesn't even know that its a word to ask what it means, just announced that he erased all of his contacts in his phone. the longer these two sit here, the more I will have to write.

Hello

The name on this site is a bit of a misnomer. It actually will chronicle the adventures of people who come in contact with me who you just want to shout at them " DUMMKOPF!" . Stay tuned for the adventures of the people who populate this world. In fact, two of the people who are going to be the stars of this show happen to be in my office right now.