Transportation

THIS WAS PUBLISHED ON ANOTHER SITE,  BUT I FELT IT FIT THE CRITERIA FOR THIS SITE AS WELL.


I was in the City on Friday, down on Water Street, and I needed to go to 1st Avenue in the 20s to catch a ride home. So I decided to take a bus that would go up the east side, since the trains involve a lot of cross town action.

As I approached the bus stop, I saw ahead of me a bus in the travel lane parallel to the bus stop. ( It didn't look as if the bus had stopped there). However, this did not really compute in my brain until later. I figured I would catch the next bus. So I was waiting by the stop when a bus again pulls up to the light in the travel lane. I call out to the driver and ask why he isn't stopping and opening the doors, he shouts back ( without opening the door) that he is an express bus. So I ask him where the stop is for the express bus, and he indicates that it is further up. Mind you, this is all shouted through a closed door and window, without a doubt heard by all the people in the bus enjoying this drama.

So as the light turns green and the bus pulls away from the light, I take off, all short and fat of me, to run as many blocks as it might take to catch this bus, since the idea of an express appeals to me, as my ride would be ready to leave within a half hour. So I run the first block, and I see that the bus pulls in to the following block. I try valiantly to increase my speed, but it is a losing proposition ( see: short and fat above). However, the bus is still there when I stagger up to it, so I hop in the back, as I have no more strength to make it to the front door, and continue my stagger to the front to pay.

I then realize, to my great consternation, that this is one of the new express buses where you pay outside, similar to  a subway. The idea is great, in that people just get on and off, and there is no delay for the passengers to pay the driver. However, this does not work so well for me, as I have just jumped on the bus. 

So I ask the driver, oh, I have to pay outside on this one, and I jump off the bus, and look stupidly at the three machines there, in my extreme haste to (1) not have the driver leave me there, and (2) not unduly hold up the bus for all the passengers already on the bus who actually know how to use the new system.
However, as I am both out of breath and discombobulated, I just look at the machine. The driver then shouts to me to come back, I run back to the door, and he tells me push the button on the blue. That is all I hear as I charge back to the machines, since the third one is kind of blue. However, that is (probably) for credit card transactions as is it a different machine than the other two.

So now the driver has just about had it, and he shouts once again at me to come back. I zip back, and he tells me "Go to the first machine, push the button in the middle of the BLUE panel, put your metrocard in on the RIGHT, and take your receipt on the LEFT, don't worry, I'll wait for you." (He really was a nice a patient transit employee.) So reassured and properly directed, I ran again to the machine, pushed the button, slammed my card in the slot on the right, hopped a bit waiting for the receipt ( Three seconds, maybe?) and grabbed my card and the receipt, and dashed back on to the bus.

To the thunderous applause of all the passengers.

Who I then had to walk through, to get a seat in the back, nodding and bowing, thanking them and apologizing.

When I finally sat down, some kind soul, trying to be nice, told me not to worry, but managed to make it even worse by telling me that he watched and listened to the whole event for two blocks ( I assume that included the original shouting through the door) and saw me running, and really didn't think I would make it.

Next time, I think I'll drive.

Yankees 5 ( 4 was called Dark)

I really love Yankee day games. This way I wrote down what happens before I forget like I would with a night game.

It has finally happened,

The long, extended home run call for a single.

Batter hits a hard line drive to right, "IT IS HIGH, IT IS FAR, IT IS...... off the scoreboard, and the batter rounds first and holds on."

On the MLB site, they called it a line drive, so it wasn't even high.

One out of three aint bad, I guess.

In a sick, perverse way, I  hope he NEVER retires

Dark

Listening to the Yankee game. This time, it was the sidekick, who commented " It's pouring, like it did last night, but it is lighter". To which the great one replied.

"because it was night last night, and now its day".

I wonder who is having an effect on who over there.

Hearing

I was in the car the other day, and I switched over to the CD. The sound was very low, so I raised the volume, but it was still too low, so I raised it again, and then yet again, clearly without really paying any attention to it.

Then the sound went completely off, so I raised the volume again.

My son in the car with me finally realized both what I was doing and what was about to happen at the same time, and shouted at me TURN IT DOWN!!!!

I started to, but not fast enough to prevent the BLAST from the beginning of the next song, as I was increasing the volume on the fade out of the previous song.

Yankees 3

Yankee day games = Doctor Dummkopf posts.

The fabulous student of the game who announces for the Yankees was obviously bored with the game today, so he and his cohort were going through all the pitchers who had over 1,000 appearances, while, incidentally letting the listener know occasionally that there was still a game going on.

The issue I have with this idiot is that he was constantly commenting in wonderment ( is that a word?) that the list does not have anyone from the 30's 40's and fifties, etc. He said this over and over and over again ( as is his modus operandi.) He also said this with great authority, without even qualifying the fact that pitchers used to actually PITCH a game, usually a whole game, sometimes two a day,  or that even as late as the 60's and 70's,  certain injuries ended your career, while advances in medicine now have allowed pitchers to continue to pitch.

I think he also failed to qualify that the pitchers on the list were mostly relievers, who by definition pitch less innings per outing, and that the use of relievers has grown exponentially  in the last forty or so years. i am not sure, because I was only listening somewhat at the start of the ridiculous side conversation, but knowing him, he probably didn't mention this little important fact.

His sidekick DID have the sense to say that some on the list were "specialists", pitchers who would come in to a game for just one batter. but she didn't say it as if "listen to yourself, stupid" more like "isn't it amazing that these less famous, workhorse pitchers lasted".

Oh no, Jeter is up, I guess now he will go through all the 3,000 hit  players.

Books

There was a discussion going on in my office about the Harry Potter series. Up pops Sir Annoyus " I like Curious George and the Berenstain Bears"

I am not sure he was kidding.

Lost

I am really starting to earn this title.

Yesterday after shul I went into the back yard to move some stuff under the deck so it wouldn't get wet. As it was already drizzling, I worked quickly, then ran inside.

This morning I was looking for my Tefillin. All things get put away Wednesday morning, so I looked first in the closet, then on the table, then a side table. No Tefillin. I thought maybe I left them is shul yesterday. So I went over to check, no Tefillin. I then went back home, checked all the chairs, back tot eh closet, all the while stomping around the house muttering.

I then remembered that I had gone to the backyard straight from shul yesterday, with dread, I went into the back yard. I saw my Tefillin where I had put them, on a ledge. I approached with great dread, as it had rained all day yesterday. expecting to pick up a soggy, very heavy bag.

However, the bag was light, and the contents were dry, protected by the deck and the plastic outside bag. I breathed a major sign of relief.

As the saying in Psalms goes, G-d protects the fools. Or Dummkopfs